On Korea's Parents' Day, cash is still the gift of choice

For many Korean Americans, Parents' Day on May 8 means sending a wire transfer to Seoul — and then booking a dinner reservation for their in-laws down the street.

The divergence reflects a broader challenge for Korean American families who straddle two gift-giving cultures — one that views cash as a mark of respect, another that treats it as impersonal. For Southern California's large Korean-American community, navigating both has become an annual ritual.

In Korea, the preference is clear. A survey by Lotte Members, the loyalty program of Lotte Group, found that 70.8 percent of Korean adults wanted to receive cash as a Parents' Day gift, while 83.9 percent said they preferred giving it. The Korea Times reported the findings this week. The reasoning is practical: cash lets parents decide what they actually need.

That logic travels with Korean immigrants, though it often stops at the front door of American relatives. Grace Lee, 42, a Korean American living in Seattle, told The Korea Times the difference is palpable. "In Korea, giving cash is just the easiest way to show you care," Lee said. "Here, it feels a little different. You're expected to spend time together, not just send something."

Hannah Cho, 39, also of Seattle, has worked out a dual approach. She uses a remittance app to send money to her parents in Korea, then shifts to flowers or a restaurant reservation for her American in-laws. "For my parents in Korea, sending money feels natural," Cho said, according to The Korea Times. "They would rather choose what they need. But with my in-laws here, it would feel strange to send cash. We usually do dinner or flowers."

The contrast sharpens each May, when Korea's Parents' Day and the American Mother's Day fall within days of each other. A National Retail Federation survey, also cited by The Korea Times, found that 75 percent of American shoppers planned to buy flowers, 74 percent cards, and 63 percent an outing such as a meal or brunch. Korean Americans frequently find themselves planning for both observances in the same week — two gift logics, two sets of expectations.

"It's the same thank you, but you can't say it the same way to everyone," Cho told The Korea Times — a sentiment that may resonate with Korean Americans throughout Orange County as they mark two holidays in one week.